Be Your Own Saviour Series: On Support Systems
When shit hits the fan, do you have people surrounding you who will help you get back up? Who are the ones that will be there for you?
“When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies but the pack survives.” House Stark
It’s the people you hold closest to you that you must stay in contact with and reach out to whenever you need. Just as you give them your attention, sometimes you might need theirs.
Ever hear of that saying that you are the sum of the five people you hang around the most?
I like to remind myself that I am apart of someone else’s core five. And I want to make sure I’m leaving a positive impact.
First off, do you have the ability to be kind to yourself? To forgive, to be vulnerable, to express empathy and gratitude? The framework of a positive Emotional Body should be built around a strong compassion for yourself. Constantly showing up and delivering kindness, honesty, love, and vulnerability not only to yourself but those close to you is so important to your health.
Living in an age of social media has us comparing ourselves to people we don’t even know, on such a regular basis, at such a rapid pace that we may not even see ourselves slip into a depressive state. But if you deleted your social media accounts, would your real friends be deleted too?
Who do you surround yourself with?
Do they complain?
Are they happy?
Do they gossip?
Do they spread peace and positivity?
Examine these individuals and groups you spend your time with and really evaluate the meaning of these relationships.
It’s not about width — how many “friends” you have. It’s about depth — how much love and kindness flow from the ones you hold closest.
Let’s get this out of the way before I move on. The series is called “Be Your Own Saviour,” but in reality, you need to have people around you to take you further than you believe is possible. Part of being your own saviour is taking the time to select you who surround yourself with.
Being held to a higher standard by those closest to you — this accountability is priceless. Just knowing that you have someone who is counting on you to show up, allows you to consistently produce better work, in a much more meaningful way.
Now this is the time to really examine your core five people.
Who are they?
What do they value?
What’s their health, work ethic, and family life like?
You are influenced by those you hang around with the most.
It may sound grim, but if you are around mostly negative people — whom are not happy, complain, judge, and seem to gossip about others most of the time — you need to ditch them.
It’s not worth your energy to invest in those that don’t invest in themselves. Especially when you are trying to constantly create, innovate, and grow yourself.
If you really want to help these people, let your actions serve as the role model. Don’t simply tell people to live a better life. Allow them to see the traits required through your dedication to the greater good.
A brief blurb on family:
I have always felt that family gatherings are obligations, usually met with a peculiar level of resistance. Each family member separated from their daily routine, to gather with the those who also don’t seem to want to be there. Around the conversation goes, taking turns explaining to everyone what it is you do for work, and hobbies you take part in. It always feels like I repeat myself, even though months go by between visits.
It just seems odd that those who have known you the longest, tend to just shrug it all off. “It’s family, we have to make time for it.” But when the time comes, in just feels utterly exhausting. It’s family, yes. Yet everyone just seems distant.
So what’s the correction here? I think it just comes down to consistent contact. The family members I feel closest with, I talk to on a daily or weekly basis, rather than every few months. Email, Facebook, Instagram, text. Whatever medium. I just think it’s important to make the time to tell those closest to you how much they mean to you more often than you currently do. Not just once every Thanksgiving dinner — you know, the one that you didn’t have to cook? Thanks, Mom. I love you!
It’s human nature to have mental, emotional, and physical contact with other human beings. One of the worst things that you can do to someone is put them in solitary confinement. We are designed to be social. We talk, share, and learn from one another. We receive love through physical presence, communication, and contact.
“Together, is better.” — Simon Sinek
5 Minute Action
- Take the time to ask yourself the following questions:
When you are alone, and the lights are off with nobody nearby, do you have the mental fortitude and compassion to support yourself?
Can you speak honestly and openly within your support system, or do you hold back conversations, thoughts, ideas that you think you will be judged on?
Who are your ‘core five’(those surrounding you)?
Are you adding that core five value?
Do you have to “cut” anyone?
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